There’s really no downside to thinking before you speak.
Ok, I suppose if you’re in a life-and-death situation and you have to shout “Look out for that boulder!” before your friend gets crushed by a runaway boulder, then there’s a downside to thinking about it first.
But generally, it’s never a bad idea. So before you speak up, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is really worth saying. Ask yourself why you think you should say it.
Is it something the other person needs or wants to hear you say? Or is it just something that you want to hear yourself say?
By putting those words out there, you’re altering the landscape of the conversation. There’s no going back. You’d better be sure that it’s worth it.
I’m not trying to be dramatic. I don’t mean “worth it” to imply that if you say the wrong thing in any situation you’re going to destroy your relationships. But…it is a possibility. Speaking out can be dangerous.
There’s that famous aphorism, Better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you a fool, than open it and remove all doubt. It’s flippant, but the point is sound: When you say nothing, the other person doesn’t know what you’re thinking. They might make false assumptions, but they’ll know they’re making assumptions. They won’t know for sure what you’re thinking.
If you speak up, on the other hand, they’ll know. And they might not like it. More accurately, in fact, they’ll think they know what you’re thinking. You never know how your words will land in their ears. Something you meant as an innocuous comment or even a joke might come across to them as painfully offensive or rude. Then you’ve altered the landscape, and you might not even know it. And even if you do know it, now you have to fix it.
So before you speak, and have to deal with the consequences–big or small–of what you say, just take a moment to ask yourself: Is this really necessary?
The Vulcan Buddha 