Meditation #72: Set it and forget it (for a while).

If there’s something you need to do but you don’t really want to (but you need to), set aside time to do it at some point during your day and then forget about it.

Don’t forget about it completely! I mean, forget about it until that time comes up.

Let’s say you’ve got to mow the lawn, and you just really dread it. Well, instead of thinking all day about how you’ve got to mow the lawn but you really don’t want to (but you need to)–thereby tainting every joyful moment you have throughout the day with that “Yeah, but I’ve still got that lawn thing…” feeling–just pick a time that you’re going to do it, set an alarm to remind you, and then try your best to get it out of your mind.

Every time the thought occurs to you, just happily wave it away like Tony Stark dismissing a reporter. Yeah, I know about that. It’ll get taken care of. Don’t bother me right now.

When when your alarm goes off, do the thing, get it done, and get right back to whatever it was you were doing before.

It’s sort of like compartmentalizing, which, as a concept, kind of gets a bad rap. We should embrace our mind’s ability to cordon things off and shut them out when we don’t need them. It’s quite a useful adaptation. Especially when you don’t want to mow the lawn (but you need to).

This isn’t just a trial run.

The other day I went for a little boat ride. There’s a small lake near the school where I teach, and for only a few bucks you can take a little motor boat out onto the lake for a while. I decided during a long lunch break to do just that. I thought it would be a nice place to relax, meditate, and read for a while.

(I was at first reluctant to do it, and I’m not sure why. The only explanation I can come up with is that it seemed to good to be true. People don’t just take boats out into the middle of a lake to read a book during their workday, do they? Luckily, the voice in my head–the same voice that convinced me to move to China in the first place–reminded me that if you spend your whole life doing what other people have done you’re only going to have experiences that other people have had.)

What makes this worth writing about is that for the first ten minutes or so, while I tooled around on the water and explored the perimeter of the lake, just kind of taking it all in, I couldn’t stop thinking about much fun it would be to be on a boat out on a lake somewhere.

No, you’re not missing something. I was in a boat, on a lake, thinking about how much I’d like to be in a boat on a lake. Taking the boat ride was so appealing to me in the first place because I love being in boats on the water. If I could live permanently in one, like the Mariner from Waterworld, I would. So while I was driving around, I was just thinking to myself things like, “Man, I love boats so much. It would be so cool to really be on a boat sometime!” It was as if the experience I was actually having was just a reminder of an experience that I wanted to have.

I wasn’t allowing myself to be present and actually appreciate what was happening. Instead I was comparing it to some future state of things, like it was a trial run or something. Luckily I recognized this fairly quickly and was able to spend another hour or so enjoying where I was and what I was doing.

It’s just a reminder to me of how often we get so caught up in our plans for the future, caught up in our expectations and–more often–our desires, that we are completely oblivious to what we have right where we are. We can spend our whole lives pining for more money, or more freedom, or more friends, and completely forget to appreciate that we already have more money (than we used to), more freedom (than we used to), and more friends (than we used to).

In a sense, we both already have those things and will never have those things. You will never have more money, because you will always have as much money as you have right now. It can never be more than it is. You will never have a better job, because it will always be the job you have right now.

Something can’t be more than it is, and it always only is.

This is something I struggle with often, even as I grow to be more mindful and present. There is still this ever-present sense that someday things will be “better,” and all my efforts today are working towards that goal. Don’t get me wrong, we have to plan for the future and it’s good to work towards a goal. I have managed to achieve more personal transformation in the last 6 months than I ever thought possible because I gave myself some goals and worked towards them every single day. But we also can’t lose sight of what we have right now. Each time I sit down to write, I try not to think about how far I have to go or how far I’ve come. I try to only think about what I have to do right now, and when it’s done–when my writing is done for the day–I think about what I have accomplished today.

In other words, I recognize the state of things as they are now instead of ignoring the present moment for some idealized future. I don’t get so caught up in my dream of being on a boat someday that I fail to recognize that I am on a boat today.

This is the most important thing you’ve ever done.

Whatever you are doing is always the most important thing you could be doing in that moment. Indeed it’s the only thing.

Just tell yourself, this is the most important thing in my life.

You could die in the next moment; do you really think it’s wise to spend this moment thinking about that one?

If you knew you were going to die next year, would it make any sense to spend this year planning for it?

If you knew you were going to die next week, would it make any sense to spend this week planning for it?

If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would it make any sense to spend today planning for it?

So pretend like you know you’re going to die in the next moment, and stop planning for it.

But how will I ever make plans for the future? I hear you asking that.

It’s not that you should never spend time planning, but ask yourself if this is the moment for it. Are you with friends? Family? Are you enjoying a meal? Are you having an experience?

Then this isn’t the moment to plan!

When you’re having quiet time, at home in bed, or sitting on the toilet, or just relaxing for a while, that may be a good time to think about the future. But don’t think about a possible the future at the expense of a definite present. Don’t ignore a good experience now so you can think about a possible good experience in the future.

Be wise with your time, and your focus. Don’t squander it.

This moment is the most important moment of your life. Be there for it.